February will see me to 31, and I have no problem with that. I didn't have a problem with 30, or with 29 before her, so why should 31 be any different? I don't agree with the phrase "age is just a number" because I definitely experience different things with different ages...there are biological realities that simply pay no attention to cliches, and these things must be faced and, to some extent, embraced. But I don't get panicky over the passing years or my changing body, so growing older doesn't bother me. I like birthdays. I like birthday presents. I like birthday cards. (February 22, ya'll.)
The one thing that never changes as I age is my older, married, female friends' conviction that I'm going to get married someday. I have reconciled the possibility of "spinsterhood" for myself, cause, frankly, I may not get a spouse. I mean, I just might not. I'm nearly 31 and no prospects*. And for me, that's okay. I'm okay with my marital status. But when I make comments like, "Well, I may not get married," my older, married, female friends jump in with
"Oh no, I'm sure you will!"
and
"I don't think singleness is what God has for you!"
and
"Don't worry honey! There's someone out there for you!"
I...don't know how to respond. I'm content; don't steal my peace. Cause really sweet friends, I simply might not get married. And I am perfectly, 100% fine with that. Please let me focus on my present and not be distracted by a future that may never happen.
*A word to my friends: do not suggest online dating. Just don't. Just.don't.
Some people seem to think their happiness depends on seeing it as the Only Possible Route to Happiness. I see this a lot with regards to marriage.
ReplyDeleteYup, a lot of people think happiness depends on marriage, and maybe some married people especially, because it's a big part of their own happiness. But it's a distorted view that leads to distorted thinking in other ways... I won't rant in a comment though.
ReplyDeleteI've been in the same situation, of saying matter of factly and without any distress that I may not marry, and then feeling awkward and a bit insulted when someone assumes I'm looking for assurance that I will.