LDs (Long Distances)

I want to hold you. Put my arms around you  and squeeze tight for a moment.
I want to kiss your forehead and tell you, "It's gonna be alright."
I want to cook your dinner and tell you, "You are loved."

Oh friend(s),
would that my arms were long enough
to reach across the miles!
Would that I had seven-league boots!
I'd be there in a minute to
hold the baby when he cries
or
hold you when you cry
or
simply do the dishes.

You carry my heart in
Texas,
Carolina,
Michigan,
Georgia,
Paris,
and Kentucky (to name a few),
and I carry yours.
As yours hurts,
mine hurts.

It is so hard to be far away while you hurt.

Christmas is coming!

And so are the packages!  I totally buy into the season's commercialism, cause who doesn't like to give presents?  I did most of my shopping online and a few things have already arrived...

Can I just say it?  We so excited. 

(Artwork by Marcia Furman can be found here; books can be found here, and here.)

Leave.

If your spouse is abusive,
leave.
Get out.
Stop enabling.
Your abuser is not going to change,
no matter how much you pacify.
In fact, the more you pacify,
the worse he gets because it makes him believe
that he has power,
that he has control.
Please, sweet sweet friend, leave
before it's too late.

Every April 20th I am seventeen again.

recurring pain

Not to complain, 

o body o' mine,

but I'm tired of pain

and would like to feel fine.

----

I was patient and submissive about it for twelve years, complaining rarely and telling few people. Somehow I just can't handle it anymore.  No cure...no helpful pain remedies...missed days of work...missed social events...missed service opportunities...and a biological guarantee that it's going to hit me again and again and again...never knowing quite when...but just knowing it's going to happen...a pain so uncontrollable you can only go through it....no stopping or ignoring it...just wrapping your arms around its fierce angry body while your brain screams louder and louder at you "I can't do this anymore.  I can't do this anymore.  I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE!!"  The pain laughing in response, "Oh yeah?  Well you're gonna...againandagainandagain..."

I hate this part of my life and have lost my ability to cope.  Hope is fled like a startled spider scrambling back into the shadows of its web. I know of a woman who killed herself because of it.  I'm not suicidal...but oh, how I understand that level of desperation.  I just don't know what to do.

Enmeshed?

Well...perhaps we are.

To prepare for winter, this afternoon I bought

8 pair of long socks, 2 pair gloves, 2 beanies, and 1scarf.  Though the weather is in the 90s today I find myself wanting to prance around in my new purchases.

Somedays

the world comes crashing down
and it is Christmas.

"Click here to see pictures of snow crippling London!"

So I clicked, but not because I want to see people crippled by snow, only because there are few things more romantic to a SoCal girl than the thought of London in winter white. But they tried to sell it to me in crippling terms. Drama sells.